Kakanostrophe

Its not just about closing the doors precisely at the strike of 8:30am every morning... its not jus about clinging on to that prized 10 marks, which would otherwise dissolve into the void for carrying your laptops into the classroom (inspite of knowing it well that u do NOT need it there in the class, which has also been specified for the umpteenth time!) and its not jus about putting your cell phones in silent (fearing its loud BUZZZZ amidst the lecture) lest you donate it to the admin for the next two business days (the dissolution of the 10 marks still holds true!).... No, its not the “YES YAAR” and its not the confiding in Najgar about the net connectivity (the sans of it, that is!), neither its the patronizing 'HAANJI, AAP BOLIYE!'. It’s the “KAKANOMANIA”, ladies and gentlemen… the stress syndrome, the discipline bug, the Valuation virus, the assignment dysentery, the NPV epidemic and all that jazz!

One of the greatest innovators, one of the greatest bowlers (trust me on this guys… his googlies can spin an entire generation!), one of the highest wicket taker (read: Ds and Fs in the term ends!), that’s Prof. Kakanostrophe for you guys! The only person who would dare to carve out an entire Finance examination question paper from the Financial Times, the only professor in whose dictionary getting a ‘zero’ translates to 'hitting a home run' (in case u r wondering, he starts marking you from minus 11), the only swadeshi question paper for the masses, which makes sure never to ignore the doodh walas, the paan walas, the chai walas… that’s again Sir. Kakanostrophe for you. Ever seen a 'matched question paper' asking you to “match the following”? Damn… and I thought ‘match the following’ is all about criss-crosses ;).

Take this now…

Term 2: same question, same characters (doodhwalas et al.), same marks and again stating “match the following”! What would you do now??? Darn, he got us for the second time!.

Time reads 8:28am: Larger part of the class population still dodging thru the stairways, (straight outta their beds in their stained T-shirts after that agonized assignment-laden night which ended in the wee hrs!) exactly 2mins more to go in Prof. Kakanostrophe’s atom tuned watch!

‘Timing’ has always been a challenge and the techniques of mastering it simply keeps on getting better. The 7 hrs of sleep before joining this B-School is now tailored to 70 minutes ‘power nap’. So what if you have the quiz next day(and they insist in calling it a ‘surprise quiz’!), so what if you have the Kakanostrophic assignments to be uploaded before 9am coupled with a Marketing presentation to be made the next day to which u gotta squeeze in a market research… just remember that the only punch bag you have possibly is your ‘sleeping hrs’. You pause and you are tempted to say, how green was my valley! But the trick lies in making THIS valley greener & accepting what they have to offer! It becomes a challenge initially to stop your sanity from breaking loose. But the fight against time, hours against minutes, it becomes a regime that doesn’t take too long to appreciate… the wrestle against your own body clock and showing ur face with droopy eyes in the morning lecture, getting the attendance punched (your class participation marks depends on it, mate!) surely qualifies for a pat on your shoulders!

Take 2: Temperature control Mechanism during class hours; Drive towards ‘Optimal Temperature Maintenance’, has always been key activity and a major awakening factor during lectures!

“Some like it hot;
some like cold;
some like switched off like a ninety year old!”

The class has 3 zones, defined by the scope of the air-conditioning! At any given time, atleast one odd soul is finding it too hot or too cold. The message travels across the class through Gtalk or Internet Packets (IP) to the other side to “increase” the temperature!

Getting oneself to the control panel, trying to read the class and decipher the sign languages (increasing temperature actually means reducing the degrees, making the room cooler!) almost gives one the feeling of being a rocket scientist, navigating through the upper Andromeda LG Supersystem... 10 different people across the room shout for (read signs) for 20 different temperature setting... finally frustrated, the controller unplugs all the three coolers, only to be seconded by yet another contributor, who would shoot the controller to 18.... and the loop follows... Bottom line… there is never a unanimous temperature, accepted by the class.

Time reads: 8:45am: a quarter of the class still in their extended slumber, just that they are now outta their comfort zone and have now chosen to sleep sitting in the plush reclining chair! Room temperature however remains the same... though the pleasant lullaby has now transformed to an educated baritone, proposing value addition to the dexterous, still groggy listeners! The remaining 1 hr goes in ‘social networking’ (includes Gtalk, Yahoo, MSN, IP, rediff et al), News update, Interesting Articles from Naike (Duh!), Orkuting and the likes of youtube, myspace, twitters.

Jeez, did I forget the NFS or Counter Strike??

Just before the lecture comes to an end, here comes the moment of truth. Ask me about the scope of MS Excel and I would always have one more to add! The pseudo-randomly generated decimal digits decide the fate of 2 broadly categorized student groups… students whose roll nos. end with X and Y, will have their assignments corrected!! THUD! Never underestimate the power of “=RAND()”